Gray divorce was coined from the Gray”, referring to couples who got divorced after age 40 or more. The general assumption is that any that got married for that long must have started growing Gray hair.
Gray marriage is now commonly used to refer to divorce wave among baby boomers, irrespective of their hair color or marriage duration.
The United States experience a decline in the rate of divorce since the last 20years. But for couples over 50 years of age, their divorce rate has doubled.
There are numerous reasons for couples divorcing, even after staying together for long.
1. Age
We get older each passing day. Aging stinks. But leaving around someone that acts old can sometimes make us feel old. For this reason, some husband or wife who has heard their partner complaining about getting older, it can be an unwelcome reminder that they are aging as well.
Some spouse thinks if they divorce their partner, for someone younger, it will help them in renewing or reversing the time.
Mediation requires that the couples participate actively in gathering discovery, completing some forms and worksheets and working hand in hand to negotiate the terms of their agreement.
If your spouse has a primitive mindset, he or she may not welcome the modern concept of divorce mediation.
2. Self-development
After several years of feeling, dressing or looking the same way, some persons tend to want to change the way they live their life. For this to happen, they sometimes need someone to motivate their desire for change.
That’s when they begin to nurse the thoughts of getting someone younger, thinking this new person will make them try harder in life( loading those extra weights, dressing better e.t.c) so they could achieve the changes they want.
Mediation can also work in this case too. But it all depends on the emotional condition of your partner. There might be a lot of resentment and hurt feelings when they know you are leaving them for someone younger.
3. Finance and money spending character
Couples can sometimes overlook some financial missteps when they are in their prime eating years. Because they still have more energy to work and get more money to take care of the bills, with the overspending partner not taking precautions on the couples precarious financial situation.
But once the source of income stops and the couples are forced to live on a fixed budget, or live on whatever they saved up for their retirement. The difference in spending habits now become clear leading the partner to want to get divorced.
For this kind of situation, the service of a professional financial advisor can be helpful, so he or she can help you mediate ideally in the situation.
4. We’ve grown out
Most couples can point out the reading for their divorce, but the reverse is the case in Gray divorce. There is no infidelity, or countless heated argument, that lead to the Gray Divorce. Most times the couples have just grown apart over time without taking much notice.
The couples can then choose a divorce proceeding when either of this happens
5. Retirement
The couples are so busy raising their kids when younger. Sometimes so busy that they don’t take note that they are growing apart from each other, every day. When both or one of the couples retires, they now have all the time in the world; then it dawns on them that they no longer know their wife or husband.
If you and your partner are thinking of getting a Gray divorce because you’ve grown apart, you should probably consider using divorce mediation.
Their last kid has gone to college, or all their children are married.
The better part of marriages is spent raising kids when you discover you no longer have any kids to raise. You are left with your partner.
6. Sex drive
The difference in couples as regards sex drive can sink a marriage. Sexual appetites differ in most couples as they get older.
This alone can lead to frustration and ultimately stir up the desire for a divorce.
Mediation can work on divorce situations, only if your spouse is not apathetic, skiing them not to want to participate in the process actively.
John Pournaras Agency