Posted by Hopkins Tax & Consulting

Overcoming money conflicts with your partner

Overcoming money conflicts with your partner

Love is not cheap. If you are one of the several Americans who buy beautiful flowers or diamonds today or who is responsible for organizing a memorable day or entry for Valentine's Day today, you are probably aware that love is not cheap.

Even if it's a dinner and a movie with a good bottle of wine, get ready to pay between $80 to hundreds of dollars. The exceptional variety of day gifts can start at around $130, but will quickly increase to approximately $ 1,000+. Even a dozen long roses cost twice as much as last week. There may be other ways to say "I love you," which is cheaper in dollars? Could some of them contribute your bottom line? 

According to an investigation that was carried out by Fidelity, more than half of the couples admitted that most conflict in their relationship is caused by. Some studies suggest that the discussion of how to deal with finances is more common than sexual discussions. Some do everything to avoid this conflict.  Research infers that if you can discover a way to synchronize your approach to money, it will do more for the health of your relationship than a dozen roses or a diamond. It can also reduce your chances of divorce.

Some ways to avoid money conflict with your partners

  • Find easy ways to discuss finances and financial priorities at the beginning of a relationship so that it does not look like an interview. If you think what to do with your 401k investment options or if you decide which health insurance policy you would like to take out, ask your partner for their opinion. Even planning a vacation together can be a great way to start thinking about how to plan money management together. Do you still suggest that you should go on a trip to the Bahamas or camping? 
  • Before deciding to take seriously and go from roses to diamonds, clarify how much and how you will combine your finances Do we keep them separately for as long as possible and will we only contribute to everyday expenses such as rent/mortgage and services? What will you both do if one of you receives a pay raise or the other's parents help pay for a house? Talking about scenarios in advance increases the likelihood of being able to cope with future storms. 
  • Maintain a degree of financial independence: This could mean keeping a small bank account used separately to finance gift purchases. Sometimes, be creative; it pays big dividends.

Another option is to agree on a predefined monthly allowance that each member can spend or save as they please, without being questioned by the other. It helps to create harmony. This may seem contradictory to couples seeking love and coexistence, but recognizes the fact that it is unlikely that two spouses will have identical financial styles, even those who share long-term financial goals.

  • Do not be angry or frustrated: You and your spouse should consider writing a note on money matters to yourselves. Write down what you think about money, what you learned from your parents about money and finances, your evolving relationship with money and what experience has taught you about money, then, when your you are both in a good mood, change your card so that everyone understands precisely what the other person is saying.  You could go further and do it as part of an annual "financial check" or another regular financial review, not just in case of conflict. This means that you are less apt to be connected to your differences and more focused on what you hope to build together.
  • Plan together: There is no greater joy than planning together when it comes to finances. This way, you get to understand how you see finances as a couple truly. Talk about Life insurance, disability insurance, clear stock plan; they will last much longer than roses or a delicious meal and will help ensure that no one has to sell diamonds.
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